How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
