sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
