come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
