Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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