I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
