I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
