he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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