You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
