Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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