how can u be prego again
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
