i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
