My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It was a blind-side dick pic.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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