Apparently you make a good broom.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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