I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
When are your genitals available?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
