i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You need a sexual gate keeper
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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