Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
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He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So many bounce houses so little time
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
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He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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