I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
