when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
