LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We just shotgunned beers for America
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
