So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
