so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
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I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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