I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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