i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
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Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
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That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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