Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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