If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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