I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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