new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
