I hate your face
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
