This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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