happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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