so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
