My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
