About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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