I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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