he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
