If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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