It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
