How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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