I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
