You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
