Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Randomize
