She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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