yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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