She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
