How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
