Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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