Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
