Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
