there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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