Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
