i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
