the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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