I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO