I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
