Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
