hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
