who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
