i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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