I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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