you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
True strength comes from lack of pants
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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