I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
