hell yes lets make some ravioli
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
