I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
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