I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Even the bartender felt bad for me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
