I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
