awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
