I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
