now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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