I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
