i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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