My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize