"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
ok first of all what the fuck
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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