Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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